his nagging and
over demanding girlfriend
.
He tried all attempts which
did not work out.
One day, an idea flashed into his head.
He logged in to
facebook, browse d into
people's profile and
suceeded in downloading 4
beautiful girls pictures. He printed it out
and wrote R.I.P
with a red ink on each of
the pictures. He hid
them in a magazine and
kept it ontop of his tel evision.
On saturday morning, his
girlfriend was cleaning the
house and saw the pictures
on the magazine. She
walked up to him. Girlfriend: Darling!
Akpos: Sweetie, what is it?
Girlfriend: I saw this pictures
on a magazine
at the top of the television,
who are these girls?
Akpos: Oh! Forget about
them, it'snot
important.
Girlfriend: It's important to
me, i need to know please.
Akpos: Ok, this one is
Onome, i met her at a
friend'swedding . We dated
and wanted to
get married but 2 months before the
wedding, she got involved
in a caraccident
and died. This one is Ngozi,
we met at Mr
Biggs restaurant in Ughelli, we dated for a
while. One day she was
goingto Lagos and
her car catched fire, she got
burntbeyond
recognition. This one is Amanda, she was my
neighbour's daughter who
came back from
London where she was
schooling on a visit.
We met and spent a night together. She was
involved in Dana Air Plane
Crash while
returning to London. Her
body was notfound.
This one, oh Eloho, her name is Eloho, we
went to visit my Pastor, on
our way back, a
truck ran over our Keke
Napep, she died
instantly, the driver and i survived.It was after
her that i met you.
Girlfriend: Met who? No be
me and youo! I
am no longer interested in
this relationship, bye bye.
(She quickly picked up her
bag and took to
her heels) DESCRIBE AKPOS IN ONE WORD
2. This morning, Akpos'
Landlord was
complaining that Eazy
had impregnated his
daughter. . As Akpos
over-heard the landlord
shouting, he came out
of his apartment and
asked the landlord.
AKPOS: Landlord, what
has Eazy done this
time?.
LANDLORD: Eazy got the
mind to impregnate my
only daughter.
AKPOS: Oga landlord, are
you sure of what you
are saying?
LANDLORD: Yes, this
morning I saw my
daughter vomiting,
when I noticed that she
is pregnant, I asked her
who impregnated her
and she said that Eazy
is responsible.
AKPOS: Abomination!
Eazy is a fool. Oga
landlord since I have
been sleeping with your
wife, have
you got any report that
I have impregnated her?
###What do you think
happened to Akpos?
3.Teacher asks pupils to
mention
medicines they know &
their
uses. Little Susan
stands & says...
"PANADOL!"
Teacher: Used for?
Susan: I think headache!
Teacher: Good.Yes Billy?
Musa: PIRITON!
Teacher: Used for?
Musa: Helps in Sleeping..
Teacher: Excellent!! Yes
Akpors!
Akpos {confidently}:
VIAGRA!!
Teacher {nearly falls off
her chair
shocked}:What for??
Akpos: I think
Diarrhoea..
Teacher: Who told you
that?
Akpos: Everynight my
mom tells
Dad, "TAKE 2 VIAGRA
PILLS,
MAYBE THAT LITTLE
SHITT WILL BE
HARDER TODAY.
4. There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Apkor sight him from a far. Then, a big trouble-making Akpors steps next
to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. Apkors was laughing, says, "why you crying because of drink? Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand
seeing a man crying."
The man replied"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave
the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I
remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping
with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my
poison."
Apkors fainted
