This write-up focuses on the categories of okada men you will see in Nigeria
Before you castigate me, please note that I'm not an Okada man neither am I into okada business. I rep Chevron.....lol
1. The Perverts
These categories of okada riders are flirts. While moving on high speed, they unnecessarily pull the break every now and then without any gallop . This is done just to feel the boobs of their female passenger. Some of them will even go as far as lifting their
seats.
2. The History Tellers
These ones often discuss with you the challenges and trials they are facing as okada riders which is attributed to bad leadership, corrupt and self-centred politicians who often embezzle public funds which has prevented them from keeping the roads in good and healthy condition. However, they will further stress that they are hoping Buhari's administration will do the needful
3. The Money Doublers
If these ones don see you with babe, na so dem go double the fare. Let's assume the normal fare is N50, the moment they see you standing at the junction with a lady, they know you are most likely to pay for her fare, hence, they will double the fare because they know that most guys will shamefully not beat down the price.
One day, na so I escort my babe go my junction, as I waved to this okada man, he smiled just as Buhari did when Jega announced the final election result which was an indication that the election result would definitely send GEJ back to Otu Oke. He stopped and the following conversation ensued
Me- Oga how much ?
Okada man- Shey na only her abi na two of una ?
Me- Na only her na
Okada man- Bros na N200 ooooo
Me- You dey craze. Wetin we dey enter N50.. Abeg commot for here. Go tell that to Dangote
4. The Ones Without Head Lamps
Their okadas have no head lamps at night. If pedestrians are not careful, they might be knocked down. Some even have head lamp but you will see it facing the sky. I have even seen cases when an okada man put a torch light in his mouth at night just to illuminate his path
5. The Risk Takers
These ones take more risk than successful entrepreneur like Dangote. They calculatively overtake and compete with trailers, danfos, vans and BRT on the expressway. Sometimes, they ride expertly that they may throw their two hands into their pockets, look back at the exhaust every now and then, open the full tank and will check the gauge at high speed. If you tell them "oga abeg small small ooooo", they will reply "calm down bros, no be today I don dey ride okada now"
6. The Ones Who Rain Curses
These ones rain curses on motor drivers who fail to give way. Even if you are driving a Range Rover Sport 2014 model, they will still rain curses on you. When you fail to give way, you will hear something like "Oloshi kuro lona jhooor" meaning way-ray abeg comot for road make I pass jhor
7. Gbedu Blaster
These ones will block their ears with an earpiece and will start keep nodding their heads like agama lizard without focusing on where they are going. Some of them will customize their okada with an inscription, "Life no get part two", jeje laye gba
8. The Dirty Ones
They are so unkempt and they stink so bad that you will keep wondering if they haven't taken their bath for three months. They wear bathroom slippers at the tip of their toes. They always look like they don't make a penny from okada business, when in fact, they do
9. The Ones Without Horn
Their okadas no get horn. When they get close to a trailer, they will whistle to the trailer driver and command him to move to another lane so that they will pass
10. The Cute Ones:
These ones will dress to kill and you will be thinking the okada nah 'private ' self.. Most of them are students/graduates.
11. The Drunkard:
if you like flag him down as early as 5am he's already drunk.. Mouth go dey smell laulau.. Nah all the Psalms you go finish before you reach ur destination
