Pastor: Akpos are you ready to
give your life to Christ?
Akpos: Yes pastor.
Pastor: Ok, repeat after me. Dear heavenly
father i thank you.
Akpos: Dear heavenly father i thank you.
Pastor: Thank you for giving out your son
Jesus to die for my sin.
Akpos: Thank you for giving out your son
Jesus to die for my sin.
Pastor: Even as i come to you today accept
me and wash my sin away and make me
clean.
Akpos: Even as i come to you today accept
me and wash my sin away and make me
clean.
Pastor: For in Jesus name we pray.
Akpos: For in Jesus name we pray.
Pastor: Amen.
Akpos: Amen.
Pastor: Akpos you are now a new man.
Akpos: Akpos you are now a new man.
Pastor: No, you can stop now i have finish.
Akpos: No, you can stop now i have finish.
Pastor: I said stop repeating after me.
Akpos: I said stop repeating after me.
Pastor: Holy Jesus!
Akpos: Holy Jesus!
Pastor: Akpos stop this before i lay a curse
on you.
Akpos: Akpos stop this before i lay a curse
on you.
Pastor: Do you know you are in
front of the people.
Akpos: Do you know you are in
front of the people.
Pastor: It seems you are not born again yet.
Akpos: It seems you are not born again yet.
Pastor: (Whispers) Akpos please stop.
Akpos: Akpos please stop.
Pastor: Akpos it seems you are possess.
Akpos: Akpos it seems you are possess.
Pastor (Tired): Church please help me beg
Akpos to stop.
Akpos: Church please help me beg Akpos to
stop.
Church Members: Please Akpos stop.
Akpos: (Silent).
Pastor: Akpos go and sit down. (facing the
congregation) Church Offering time.
Akpos: Akpos go and sit down. Church
Offering time.
Pastor: (changes his mood)
Akpos if you think you can come here and
stop offering, that means you lie.
Akpos: Akpos if you think you can come
here and stop offering, that means you lie.
The pastor fainted
2. A man goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide.
He met with Chidi the librarian.
Man: Please! Do you have a book on suicide?
Chidi: What do you want to read that kind of book for?
Man: I want to commit suicide.
Chidi stares at him for a while and said; Please leave this place! Who will return the book if you die.
3. A husband and wife and their 8 children were waiting at a bus stop.
After a few minutes, an old man who was walking with the aid of a walking stick joined them.
When the bus arrived, it was almost full.
Only the wife and the eight children were able to enter.
The husband and the old man decided to walk.
After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the walking stick of the old man and said to him;
That ticking sound is driving
me crazy. Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick.
The old man replied:
Shut up and keep walking. If you would have put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick we would be sitting in the bus and not walking with all this children of a wasted sperm.
4. During The Shooting Of A Movie.
Director: Now we are going to release the lion and it will chase you, but don't worry it won't bite you.
Akpos: How sure are you?
Director: It is written in the script.
Akpos: Has the lion read the script? Cos i dont want to die o.
Director: Yes
Akpos is now in mortuary.
