The reason why I am still single today is this. Early 2011, my long time girlfriend Susan who I was engaged to then started pressurizing me to go and see her parents, they are in dying need to see the guy that has stolen their baby's heart and want to spend sometime with him, get to know him, before accepting and approving the marriage contract, that it was a tradition in their family. I spoke to my Mummy about it. She told me not to worry that Uncle Chuks would accompany me that she would speak to him about it. Uncle Chuks was her younger brother. My Mummy called him for a meeting at our place the next day. She spoke to him about it and he agreed. ''So you this small Ochuko wants to get married? How time flies!. He exclaimed. Uncle I'm no longer a small boy o!''. I said with pride. ''I'm now a big boy o!''. ''Then that saying should no longer be the young shall grow but the young have grown.'' My Mummy laughed at his reply. ''So this girl, where is she from and where does her parents live?''. He asked. She is from Ndokwa but her parents live in Abuja!''. I replied. ''Eh-en!''. He hummed. Uncle Chuks said we would go on friday morning that week and be back by sunday evening cause he can't afford to miss work, he added we must go with his car and not on public transport. I agreed with him to save my transport fare. I called and informed Susan who was on leave at the office and with her parents in Abuja of my coming, and she was so excited. On the way to Abuja from Warri that friday morning Uncle Chuks started telling me of how he travelled to Uyo to spend time with his wife's people when he was about getting married to her and how he passed the tests his wife's parents who were not free with people laid down for him with the tips he was about giving me. I asked, ''Which tips?''. And he said when I get to Susan's parent's house I should act like a gentleman and eatless of whatever is given to me because I don't know the kind of family Susan's family are. ''But how can I eatless Uncle you of all people know that I'm a glutton. I only stop eating when my tummy is feed up to the brim.'' I said. ''You have to drop that now while we are on the way in order not to disgrace yourself in front of the family of your wife to be.'' My Uncle said. ''But how can I?''. I asked. ''You know Ochuko, I am like you in terms of in take of food.'' ''Yes Uncle.'' ''I know''. ''Do you know what saved me when I travelled to spend time with my wife's people before marrying her?''. ''No Uncle!''. ''I took my friend along with me who when I had eaten half of the food they served me he would scratch his head with his right hand which is a sign for me to stop eating. Once I see the sign. I would stop eating immediately. That is what we are going to do there. Once you see me scratching my head with my right hand you should stop eating immediately.'' ''Okay Uncle!''. I said. We arrived Susan's family's house in the night due to the heavy traffic on the way. As we got there we were welcomed with open arms by her parents. Susan introduced me to them and I in turn introduced my uncle, Chuks, to them. They are four in the family, two boys and two girls. Susan was the second. They were all present. We were showed our room and was invited to join the family at the dinning table for a delicious supper of fried rice and chicken. As we ate, the father brought a conversation concerning his club Liverpool on the English Premier League of how his club was going to lift the E.P.L trophy that season. Uncle Chuks is a Liverpool fan too and he joyfully joined in the conversation. One of Susan's brothers was a Chelsea fan while the other a Manchester United fan. They both argued with Susan's father and Uncle Chuks, and the argument ended up in laughs upon laughs while Susan's mother and the girls, Susan and her sister, made fun of them. I had not eaten up to eight spoons when I saw Uncle Chuks right hand scratching his head. I stopped eating. They asked, ''Are you through?''. ''Yes!''. I lied. ''You can't be through only just now, eat more, you've not eaten anything!''. They said. Uncle Chuks joined them in begging me to eat more and I knew that it was all among the plan. So I said my stomach is filled up, that I don't want to visit the toilet and spend my whole night there while others would be sleeping!. They understood and let me be. I watched as Uncle Chuks devoured his food and cleaned the plate. I was so angry with him for stopping me early while he enjoyed his food to the fullest. My stomach hurt. I had not eaten much. Everyone became through with their meal and we said goodnight to each others. I and Uncle Chuks retired to our room. I couldn't sleep, I watched as Uncle Chuks snored away. The hunger kept me awake. I couldn't bear it any longer and woke Uncle Chuks up around twelve midnight. ''I'm hungry!''. I said. ''Why?''. He asked with sleepy eyes. ''Because you stopped me earlier than expected.'' I replied. ''Me, I didn't stop you o, I was only scratching my head because the pepper on the food was much. How can I stop you when this family you want to marry from are free with people. Didn't you see how they played with us. They are not like my wife's family so the plan shouldn't be used here.'' ''Why didn't you tell me?''. I queried. ''I thought you had understood, yourself!''. Uncle Chuks said and went back to sleep and left me and my hungry stomach on our own. As I was thinking on what to do to quench the hunger one mind said to me that there might still be more fried rice left in the kitchen. So that midnight, I climbed down to the kitchen, opened the kitchen door with carefullness and put on the kitchen light. I searched the pots, there was no rice and so I opened the only cooler in the kiitchen and there was rice and a whole lot of chicken inside. ''Thank you Jesus!''. I whispered and picked up a spoon, placed the cooler on the center of the kitchen, put off the light and started eating and singing R.Kelly's sign of victory. It got to a point I threw away the spoon and started eating with my bare hands. My mind was so focused on the food. I dealt with the chicken one after the other mercilessly and ate the rice ruthlessly. As I was eating, the kitchen light was put on. I was shocked. Standing before me was Susan's father, mother, her siblings and Susan herself. Susan is now married with children, while I am still single.
