“Like I said, Ogechi continued; I kept cool and hid my fears and suspicions. I
had been doing that all my life until it became part of me. So when he asked if I wanted him to help me relax, I simply replied him with two words; LET’S PRAY. Again, he joined me in prayers
without argument or hesitation. After we prayed, for some reason I had peace within me and believed he wasn’t the kind of guy who would do what I suspected he would do. So I slept off
after handing over myself into the hands of
God.
Next day I discovered he didn’t have a
place to stay and invited over to my house
to stay with me. I know you’ll be wondering
how I could have done such a thing. I
wondered so myself back then. He turned
out to be a good acquaintance and I became
very fond of him. He was supposed to stay
with me for a period of two months but
would have ended up staying with me
forever if my brother had not called in to
say he was coming over to my house. I
guess I didn’t want him to go anymore;
neither did he want to go. But before then,
things happened.
Initially I tried to starve his eyes of some
sight that could awaken the hulk in him. But
I soon got tired of that and lived freely with
him as though he was a girl. Many times I
caught him admiring my body extravagantly
when I got careless with the adjustment of
my clothes, but he would sit back as though
such sight had no impact on him. I thought
it was because of his promise to be of good
behavior while in my house, but when two
full months passed without any advances
from him despite my unintentional exposure
of some sensitive parts of my body, I got
worried. In fact, I felt bad. I know there are
men who can control themselves but not
this much. He made it seem like he was
living with a man in the house and that
tempered with my self-esteem. Not that I
had some desires I needed him to gratify,
but I had expected that as a guy living with
a girl, he would lose control of himself one
day, not because he was lustful, but
because his eyes had seen too much of my
body than he could resist, then I would call
him to order. And if calling him to order
was unsuccessful, well I didn’t really think
about that. I just believed I could do so
whenever the pressure was too much for
him to handle. I wouldn’t have been
disappointed at him if he did, because he
had already proven himself to be a
respectable guy. So if he ended up making
such advances towards me, it would only be
a natural reaction. And I would have
stopped him. So I believed.
But when I wasn’t getting that from him or
even getting a sign that such might occur
soon, I felt so bad about myself. I started
thinking that my charms weren’t strong
enough to woo this guy. Note: It wasn’t my
plan to woo or seduce him. I only expected
that he would one day lust after me, and
want to have his way with me since he was
beholding my body every day. Instead of
curiosity consuming him, he always sat
still and stared. I know some thoughts were
definitely running through him mind, just
that he wasn’t acting. I wonder how he
managed to do that.
When he finally moved into his apartment
after nearly four months of staying with me,
I went with him so we could spend some
time together before I returned home. At
that point, I had already developed feelings
for him. He also had developed feelings for
me but hadn’t spilled out the words yet, but
I knew. There was a heavy down pour that
night that I couldn’t make it home again.
Spending the night with him wasn’t
something to be afraid of, neither was my
mood of dressing something to be careful
about when with this guy because it never
got to him. After all, he’ll just sit still and
stare without making a move. The most he
would do is rain complements on me until
my ear had its fill of complements. I took
off everything I had on me and got a T-
shirt from him to cover my body without
any under wears. I then lay carelessly as
usual on the bed as I flipped through the
music library of his laptop for songs to
cheer me up when suddenly he burst out of
the bathroom with hot red burning lust in
his eyes while his body vibrated. “BINGO!”
I said in my heart. I thought you were not a
man.” Why did it take you this long to lose
it?” I asked in my heart. Or was he trying
to be respectful by not making and
advances towards me while in my house?”
I had been expecting that the day would
come when he’ll want to feel my warmth,
and had planned to forbid him when that
day came. Finally, the day came and I just
lay on that bed not knowing if I wanted to
stop him or actually wanted him to go
ahead. The more time I wasted trying to
figure out what I wanted, the closer he got
to making it happen. My mind went blank,
my heartbeat accelerated, and I got really
soft. All I could do was lay back helplessly
on the bed without making any objections
or giving a go ahead. What good could
objections do at that point? Apparently,
they guy had lost it and wasn’t going to try
to hold it back. I, on the other hand was
exceedingly happy because he finally fell
for my charms, but I wasn’t sure if I really
wanted him to go ahead with what he was
set to do. I just couldn’t stop him like I
thought I would. I guess I shouldn’t have
driven him that crazy.
But then, I was amazed at the outcome of
things. As he was bending downward to lie
on me, he suddenly retreated and lay
beside me on the bed. I was confused. Then
everything about him that was out of place
gradually returned and he was normal again.
He changed his mind. He wasn’t going to go
through with it again. I was somewhat
happy that he stopped himself. How ironic?
When I couldn’t stop him, he stopped
himself. But why? I asked in my heart. Was
it something ugly about me he saw or
observed? How was he able to climb that
high and return without a single sweat?
Then it dawned on me that he had resisted
me again. He definitely did! I was
dumbfounded. All I could say was; “I’m
proud of you” though I was disappointed. At
that point, my regard for him tripled up. But
I wasn’t going to give him any more
chances to resist me. If he actually got to
that point and could still hold himself back,
he was definitely going to do it over and
over again if I gave him chances to.
I left his house the next morning pretending
to be alright. I was definitely sad about the
whole thing. A pretty girl feels so good
knowing that the guys are falling for her
charms even though she’s not interested in
any of them. But when it seems there’s
some guy somewhere who’s not falling for
her charms, it makes her wonder why.
Sometimes, she might even begin to think
there’s something about her that isn’t in
place. Those of you ladies can bear me
witness to that. That was exactly the way
he made me feel. Even though I wasn’t
ready to let him have me just yet, I wasn’t
also ready to be resisted by him, so I
stopped seeing him. I couldn’t believe
myself. I had found the exact kind of guy I
always desired. But then, I stopped us from
seeing each other for two reasons; Firstly, I
didn’t want to be resisted by him anymore.
Secondly, I couldn’t resist him anymore. If I
had continued our usual visits and time
alone together, soon enough, I would have
ended up being the one to suggest the idea
of commitment and union, the very thing I
had kept myself from doing right from the
day he moved into my house. I had always
been a decent girl and wasn’t going to let
that go. It appeared he also wasn’t ready to
be anything less than his name depicts. In
case you’re wondering what his name is, he calls himself Jesusboy. And he says he
doesn’t do so for fun. The good thing about
him was that he had mastered his body and
could starve it of its lustful cravings, but I
couldn’t say the same about myself. So the
best way out was distance, at least for a
little while until I got a hold of myself
again. Nevertheless, I loved him. In fact,
that was when my love for him was sealed.
He didn’t know that. He thought I was angry
with him and didn’t want anything to do with
him anymore.
Jeez! I couldn’t believe my ears after I
heard Ogechi confess all that. So that was
why she stopped me from seeing her? I
asked myself in bewilderment. And all the
while I thought she was disappointed at me
because of my actions that night. After she
narrated the things that went on between
her and me, I got to know her hidden
feelings and fears which I had no knowledge
of before now. I bet she wouldn’t have
voiced them out if she knew I was there. “I
NEVER KNEW, I NEVER THOUGHT, I NEVER
SUSPECTED THAT OGECHI EVER MADE ANY
EFFORT TO RESIST MY CHARMS. ALL THE
WHILE, IT WAS ALWAYS LIKE SHE NEVER
FELT THAT WAY TOWARDS ME. BUT SHE
DID, EVEN MORE THAN I DID TOWARDS
HER. HOW COULD SHE HAVE HIDDEN IT TO
A POINT WHERE EVEN I, WITH MY
PSHYCOLOGICAL KNOWHOW COULDN’T
COMPRHEND? THAT QUESTION HAS
REMAINED UNANSWERED TO THIS VERY
DAY”
To be continued.
