language, pidgin English & tooto tins
Episode 1
Passing out parade has come and gone, I
will definitely miss my
friends, my PPA, my environment in ota,
a lot of thoughts were running through
my mind as I was packing and
arranging my loads. I begin to ask
myself, “after service year then what
next?”.
I had tried to apply for jobs during my
service year but I couldn’t get a befitting
job. My friends that were born with a
silver spoon had jobs waiting for them at
home, “Which kind wahala be this?”, I
picked my bag, board a bus to
akure. On getting home, my family and
neighbours welcomed me, it was as if a
white man came on a visit. People are
asking me questions, some were greeting,
some were asking for what I
brought.
As days rolled by, I begin to search for
what to do, I moved round the town to
see if I could get a job somewhere.
One day while I was passing by on the
3rd street, I saw a woman coming out of
a mighty duplex, the house was painted
white,. She was pasting a notice on her
gate as I was passing by. I moved closer
to see the what she was pasting,and on
it I saw ” A home lesson teacher wanted
URGENTLY”.
Chaiii, I ignored at first and moved on.
After walking about 8 steps. I stopped
and think. ***** why I go refuse this job
na?, dem be rich people ooo, so
dem fit pay.*****, I stopped thinking, I
went back the house, I knocked on the
gate and the gateman ushered me
in. the gateman took me to the the door
entrance, called out the woman and left,
ME: good afternoon ma
MADAM: good afternoon young man,
how can I help you?
ME: I saw you pasting a notice the other
time and I decided to apply.
MADAM: you mean the home tutor job?
ME: Yes
MADAM: hope u passed your WAEC? And
how was the result?.
ME: *****smiled*****, yes man I do.
MADAM: but I will prefer a graduate
because my first daughter
wants to write jamb and post jamb, so a
graduate will do better,
ME: *****i looked at myself and thought,
“chaiiii, small stature na bad thing oooo,
se I no look like graduate
ni?”***** smiled, I’m a graduate ma.
MADAM: really?, oooohh, pls I am so
sorry for the embarrassment, so sorry
please, u look very young, please come
in please.
************she ushered me into the living
room************
The interior of the room is a nice one, a
colourful design and
furnitures. I sat on the chair and she sat
down opposite to me.
MADAM: I’m sorry for the other time
ME: its not a problem ma
MaDAM: which state are you from?
ME: edo
MADAM: how old are you.
ME: ****felt embarrassed*** 23
MADAM: 23? Then what age did you
graduate?
ME: 21 Ma
MADAM: ***smiled*** u must be a
genius, I like that. So let’s get
to business. My first daughter janet is
19, she failed her last
jamb attempt, so she is writing another
one, so u will teach her physics,
chemistry and math, less I forget. What’s
your course?
ME: chemistry Ma
MaDAM: then you should be able to do
well then,
ME: ok ma, ***i looked at the photo on
the wall directly in front of
me, its of a very pretty young lady, she is
fair and has a big burst. This must be
janet, “chaiiiii, omo see bobby****
MADAM: I also have a son, 12 in jss3, u
will be teaching him mathematics.
Me: ok ma.
MADAM: ********called someone by the
name “sikira”. Sikira!!! , bring a bottle of
coke for me with a glass
cup******.A young girl appeared from the
kitchen, her dressing shows that
she must be the house maid. She is fair
too but not up to janet, she must be in
her early 20′s I guess, she has
this local inbuilt beauty, a nice dimple
and a an average sized bosoms. She
served the coke and turned back.
Chaiiiiiiii, omo see a$$$$$$.
Its that type of mercy johnson’s. I sipped
the coke and continues the discussion.
MADAM: that is my house maid, no
tempt her with your fine boy
look oooooo,
ME: ok ma.
Madam: just kidding. So how much are
you charging me?
ME: *****thought for a while, viewed the
look of the house, the cars I saw
outside***** 30k ma.
MADAM: heeeeeeeee, when I’m not
employing you to train her for
cambridge. I will pay you 20k per month
for the 2 children.
ME: ok ma
MADAM: let me give you a little rule.
Don’t go beyond academics with my
daughter, I think you understand what I
meant?. If you do, I will send hired killer
to kill you
ME: ok ma, *******so this woman is only
concerned about her daughter’s yansh,
what about sikira?*****. Sorry
ma, can I ask a question?
Madam: go ahead.
ME: please are the children around?! I
want to introduce myself to them****for
my mind, I wan see how janet looks like
in reality****.
MaDAM: janet went to a friend’s birthday
party, gideon my son is
sleeping inside. Maybe when you resume
lesson, you will know them
ME: thanks ma. One more thing please, I
wish to meet daddy too.
MADAM: laughs, daddy is not in nigeria,.
Me: ok ma, let me take my leave, I will
resume on monday. I exchanged number
with madam, stood up and
about to leave when sikira came out to
pick the bottle. She looked into my eyes
and released a cute smile, her dimple
made a hole. I smiled back
at her too. I dashed out of the
compound. As I stood infront of the gate,
a cab dropped a young girl infront the
house. I recognised the face as the same
thing I saw on the picture, this must be
janet. I said to her “HI”. She just ignored,
passed by and knock on the gate which
the gateman later opened. I said to my
self. Chaiiiii, why this girl come rude and
dey
arrogant like this na?… … . .
To be continue
