B&Q when they collide.
The older bloke says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my
wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'
The young guy says, 'That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife,
too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
The old bloke says, 'Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife
look like?'
The young guy says, 'Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, big
blue eyes, long legs, big b.o, obs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a
halter top and no bra. 'What does your wife look like?'
The old bloke says, 'Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.'
When we see yours, definitely i have seen mine too.
See gbege.
2. A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds"?
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home".
"No, I meant what is the foundation of this case"?
"It's made of concrete"
"I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge"?
"No, we have carport, and not need one".
I mean, what are your relations like?
"All my relations still in Poland".
"Is there any infidelity in your marriage"?
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player".
"Does your wife beat you up"?
"No, I always up before her".
"Is your wife a nagger"?
"No, she white".
"Why do you want this divorce"?
"She going to kill me".
"What makes you think that"?
"I got proof".
"What kind of proof"?
"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in
bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
Oh i can see how foolish you are, please fuck out of my office now.
3. Akpors was walking past this
house when a used condom
comes flying out of the second
story window and lands squarely
on his head.
Rather disgusted and absolutely
furious, he goes up to the front
door and starts pounding on it.
An elderly man opens it and asks
him what caused him to knock so
loudly.
Akpors asks,
"Who's in your upstairs room?"
The elderly man replies,
"I can't see how it's any of your
business. But, since you must
know, my daughter and intended son-in-law are upstairs."
Akpors hands him the used
condom and says,
"Well, I just wanted you to know that your intended grandchild fell
out the window!"So you might probably died without seeing your grandchild.
4. At work, Okon and Akpors were chatting:
Okon: Akpors, I have been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have exams next week
Akpors: oh!
Okon: For example, do u know who Graham Bell is?
Akpors: No
Okon: He invented the telephone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Okon: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Akpors: No
Okon: He's the author of The Three Musketeers; if you take night courses, you would know this
The next day, once again:
Okon: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Akpors:No
Okon: He's the author of"Confessions"; if you take night courses, you would know this
This time Akpors got seriously irritated and said;"do u know who Edafe is?"
Okon: No
Akpors: He is your neighbor chopping and bleeping your wife since five months ago. If you stop taking night courses, you will know this!!
Okon fainted.
