girl to get married…. See what they do below
1. Snatching a friend or relation’s man. All is
fair in love and war! Rumour has it that
women have resorted to locking their phones,
hiding their men and coding their gist from
so-called friends cos it’s a jungle out there…
2. Re-inventing themselves. Pretence is the
order of the day. No man wants to tame the
shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an
honest woman out of a dishonest one so once
marriage is desired, women package
themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-
use, highly desirable packages. After marriage,
what
you see is what you get!
3. Trapping him with pregnancy. This used to
be the old school method of getting a man to
propose. From skipping the pill to seducing
the man or getting him drunk when she was
ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the
man where she wanted him once she missed
her period even if there was no commitment.
Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas
and YES to child support. Are the girls
deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up their
game by involving the parents and you know
parents don’t like scandals.
4. Praying&Fasting. This would presumably be
an honourable means of obtaining a husband
but
sometimes the prayers are offered up to
deities other than God & other times it
becomes a song permanently on repeat.
5. Taking his photograph to places for a
prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa.
Heard it works like a charm.
6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects
to herbalist. Guys, disposing off your condoms
yourself is not such a bad idea…
8. Putting love portion in his food! This is
classic and timeless but shouldn’t it be called
a ‘compelling’ portion? Because in this case,
love is by force!
9. Saying YES to a man you despise! A
woman has two classes of men usually on her
case. The ‘correct’ guys and the ‘disgos’. The
disgos usually end up as rebounds but many
a woman has shocked a despondent toaster
with a sudden ‘Yes’ and men have agreed that
truly there is nothing God cannot do!
10. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen…
(Who wears the engagement ring?)
11. Toasting a man’s family so they make the
decision for him! A friend complained that a
girl he detested had over the months gotten
close to his family. Lavishing money on them,
cooking for them and basically being their ‘go-
to’ girl and now his mum had put her foot
down that he had to break up with his
girlfriend and
marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama.
Depending on how much power the family use,
their word may be final…
12. Asking daddy to get you a husband! If
daddy’s a big shot, arranging a husband for
you is usually as easy as pie and some men
would sell their souls for a large chunk of
daddy’s money so both parties are happy…
13. Being your man’s maga! Some women
believe that when you finally get a man to be
interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking
his every fault would get you into a white
gown faster than an okada chased by
LASTMA! Some men don’t mind a woman who
houses them, clothes them, feeds them, gives
‘em pocket money, never gets upset with them
even when
they misbehave and cleans up after them with
little or no contribution from them… Living the
dream
14. Giving him unlimited freedom as long as
he
proposes. “Tell me I’m number one baby, tell
me I’m the future mother of your kids and not
Amina, Bisi or Ngozi!” Women used to wanna
be the one AND ONLY in their man’s life, now
being the number one is good enough…
15. Polishing up a low class, barely educated
brother in exchange for a ring! The deal is
simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or
driver to night school, you give him language
lessons, you take him to buy some new clothes
and deodorant and teach him to call you
honey
instead of madam and in exchange, he gets to
marry you, share an expensive bedroom and
never worry about his bills ever again!
16. Revamping yourself. Change your ward-
robe, lose 20kg, buy a truckload of brazilian
hair, study the karma-sutra, do a vaginoplasty
and change the age on your birth-certificate to
read 22. Botox, plastic surgery, a compulsory
gym membership and ‘body magic’ also
indicated!
17. Becoming a worker in church! Rumour has
it that men go to church to marry, the same
rumour also reveals that ‘Greeters’, ‘Ushers’
and ‘Lead Soloists’ have the best exposure…
praise the Lord!
20. Marry a married man! He could be your
friend’s husband, your sister’s husband, your
cousin’s husband, your colleague’s husband,
even your mother’s husband if you like!
Can you blame these women? The average
guy has commitment phobia or is out to play
till he is all spent before he settles down or is
waiting to make his first ’5 million’ before
saying ‘I do’. Even a man with no future
ambition or class, much less finances still
knows he could have his pick of the best
women out there, once he announces he is
looking to settle! The
last census showed a female-dominated
demographic with more women per eligible
bachelor. Family and society constantly put
the woman in hot water making her personal
successes irrelevant till she bags
a man.
What do you think?
