I began to seek a way of getting through to father’s room to get his bible. Even if I took it away from
there, he wouldn’t notice it.
I just had to make sure that he didn’t
spot me entering there,
else I would be in ‘pepper soup’. I had to
look left, right and left
at several occasion, but each time I was
about taking the step,
either Bode or Toyosi would be coming
close.
Since the day I stepped into the parlour
to confront Toyosi, she
hadn’t beaten me. I wondered why.
Maybe she was scared of
my look that day, I thought. Perhaps she
was up to something
again. However, my bedroom was not
changed—the kitchen.
It was December already. A new year
would soon be here.
How I wished the new year could bring
something really new.
I just wished to be out of the house.
Toyosi had warned me
earlier that any day I stepped out of the
house, then I should
count myself dead. I wasn’t even allowed
to play within the
compound.
One day, daddy sat on the sofa in the
parlour. Initially, he was
watching a movie. But sleep came and
robbed him of his
consciousness. The door to his room
wasn’t shut, so I knew it
was the best time to get in there. I was
fortunate because
Toyosi had taken Bode out for shopping
for the approaching
Christmas.
I plodded into his room and went straight
for the bible. I got it
and began to make my way out of his
room. Hurriedly, I set
the bedside table well as it was, else, my
father would know I
came in if he met his room in disarray.
I didn’t hesitate to begin perusing the
holy book. Since I didn’t
know much scripture in my head, I began
to open at random.
The passage that caught my attention
was where Jesus Christ
was on the cross, about to die. I read
with interest. I didn’t
know when tears began to run down my
cheeks. Initially, I
thought I was the one who had the
greatest suffering in the
world, but when I read it, my fear was
allayed. If the son of
God could suffer to death in such
manner, how much more
me, a human?
I picked up the confidence that no matter
what comes my way,
I would no more be shaking. If Jesus
could cry and shout “My
father, my father, why have you forsaken
me?” then it wasn’t a
big deal if my earthly father, John, also
forsook me, I thought.
I fell in love with that expression; I
thought of making it into a
poem, therefore I wrote the expression
down in a little paper
and put the paper inside the bible.
My father, my father, why have you
forsaken me?
The poem I would write on that had
begun to form in my
head. I would write it as soon as
possible.
I kept the bible in a space behind the
bags of rice close to the
wall. I knew it would be safe there.
Toyosi was done shopping. She had
brought a lot from the
boutique. I was surprised when she came
to the kitchen where
I was passing the day and tapped me. I
thought she was here
to complain about the meal she just ate,
but to my shock she
wasn’t here for such intent. She pulled
me up in a peaceful
manner and pointed the parlour to me. I
led the way, she
followed. She began to point to Bode
who was dressed in a
well-tailored robe. She even bought a
horsetail and a
swaggerstick for him and asked him to
do a little pose in the
robe. Bode looked gorgeous in the robe. I
was blushing.
Toyosi began to unloose a nylon bag.
Then she brought out a
very beautiful pink dress. For who? I
thought. Could that be for
me for the Christmas? My father frowned
when she brought
out the dress. Toyosi spoke to him and
he mellowed down. I
didn’t know what she told him. Anyway, I
was prepared for
the worst, so I wouldn’t be taken by
surprise.
Toyosi ordered me to pull off my dress. I
did that hurriedly.
Then she gave me the dress.
“Wear it,” she told me in sign language. I
boggled. The dress
would hurt me, I thought. Who knows
what the inner of the
cloth was made of? Maybe she had
soaked the dress in juju, I
pondered on.
“Wear it!” she instructed me again. I
began to pray in my mind
that nothing should happen to me.
Slowly, I wore the dress as
I insinuated a fall of death. Toyosi was
smiling and turning her
head from side to side to take a close
look at me. Bode and
John my father had some grotesques on
their faces still. My
father even left the room and Bode
followed him; like father like
son.
Toyosi held the shoulder pads and turned
me around. She
asked me to walk a little further away
from where I was. I did. I
saw her mouth go wow! She said I looked
like Cinderella.
Toyosi brought out a pair of female
shoes and asked me to
wear it too. First, I had to stuff my dirty
legs into two long
stockings before putting on the shoes.
Toyosi cleaned the legs
with a white handkerchief before asking
me to put my legs in
there. Toyosi placed a hat on my head.
It was a pink hat as
well.
She led me to a round glass, standing on
a carved wooden
base. I saw my look. I never knew I could
be that beautiful.
“Good,” Toyosi said. She asked me to pull
off.
The day after, John came to me and
tapped me. I was sitting in
the parlour then. Toyosi and Bode
weren’t at home. When I
turned my gaze around, I was shocked at
what I saw:
My father held his bible close to my face.
Gently, he picked up
the note I wrote:
My father, why have you forsaken me?
The shock was too much for me to easily
come off. I was
‘dumbfounded’. I trembled. How did he
get the bible? I asked
myself.
John wrote a note:
Why did you write this? Who told you I
have forsaken you?
He demanded that I wrote my response in
the same piece of
paper. I had no answer to supply. I would
ask him a question
in reply.
How did you discover it? I wrote back.
Shocked? You went into my room and
took my bible where it
was. I got to know that when you were
probably trying to
leave the room; my key fell from the
keyhole of the door when
you were leaving the room. I heard the
sound, you didn’t hear
it. I followed you and saw you taking it
to the kitchen. I peeped
at you as you were pushing it behind the
bags of rice. Now,
Rose, can you see how useless you are?
Your ears didn’t even
pick up the loud trampling of my feet
while I was rushing to
my door to see who was there.
I collected the note and read it. I was
motionless. John snaffled
it suddenly and wrote something more:
You want to know why I have forsaken
you? Anyway, being
forsaken is what you deserve.
Why do I deserve to be? I replied. I had
always crave
something like this. I had wished for so
long to ask my father a
heart-to-heart question to know the state
of his mind and the
reasons for all his inimical actions. Now
it seemed he was ready
to pour out his mind to me when he
wasn’t actually the person
I was referring to in the note. That was
supposed to be the title
of my poem.
Yes, you deserve to be forsaken; why did
you come to the
world, useless? You have never been of
help to me in life and
you can never be.
I have been of help to you, father—a
great help for that matter.
When was that?
On May 29, 1999, just last year, I helped
you when you were
helpless. When the new president
stormed the podium on the
handover day and spoke about his
ascension and about his
ambitions for the country, your old TV
ran out of voice, or
maybe the TV station lost its voice, you
came in and tapped me
to come over to the parlour. I was there
with you, watching
the sign language done at a corner of
the TV. I wrote down
everything and gave it to you. You were
happy you didn’t miss
the president’s speech that day.
My father read the note and trembled. It
was conspicuous that
he was confused.
John didn’t utter a word by replying the
note. He just walked
out of the parlour and went straight to
his room. I have won.
How would a man answer the question
addressed to God? I
thought amusingly. John is not God,
therefore he shouldn’t
dare try to address my question. For all I
cared, John is not my
father but a devil incarnate.
A week later, it was Christmas Day. Bode
was in his robe as
expected. As for me, I didn’t know how to
ask Toyosi for mine;
the one I wore that day. Bode held the
horsetail and a walking
stick in his hands and walked like a
chief. John was well-dressed
too, as well as Toyosi. It seemed they
would be going out.
When Toyosi didn’t dress me up, I
approached her to ask what
my fate was. She smiled and said, “Oh!
Rose, come with me?”
I followed Toyosi out of the house for
the first time since three
months. A cool wind settled on me. I
could feel the yuletide.
The frontage had changed a lot, we now
had a neighbor in the
other duplex. Toyosi asked me to wait for
her. She entered into
the other flat. She came out pushing a
wheelchair towards me.
A girl of around my age was sitting on
the wheelchair.
Her mother came outside with a boy who
appeared to be blind.
The boy was dressed for the Christmas
as well as the girl on
the wheelchair.
Rose, here is a surprise for you,” Toyosi
signed to me.
“I don’t understand,” I replied her.
“Look at that dress on her, it was the one
I put on you last
week,” she signed to me. The mother of
the child on
wheelchair was clueless. She was seeing
me for the first time
since two months they packed in.
Toyosi told her something which I
couldn’t hear. Maybe she
told her that I was their deaf housemaid,
I wouldn’t know.
Toyosi turned to me and said, “I never
had a dress for you. Her
mother asked me to help her go shopping
for her son and
daughter and I did. I tested the dress on
you because you have
exactly the same stature as lame Laide
sitting here. Hope you
are not blind like blind Biodun standing
beside his mother over
there. Merry Christmas, Rose!” she
signed and began to leave the house.
To be continued
