Most men would usually cite reasons such as boredom, opportunity, temptation, etc, as what pushed them to adultery, but women, being the more emotional gender, often state different reasons.
In a society like ours, women are not very forthcoming about sex-related issues much less open up about infidelity, but Naij.com has been able to gather some reactions from a few Nigerian women under conditions of anonymity.
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
1. Loneliness:
“My husband works in the airline industry and this means he travels very often. Sometimes we spend as long as 6 months apart. I did not actually plan and set out to be unfaithful but it was getting very difficult and lonely. I recently started an affair with a co-worker and we get together about once a week.”
Deborah* 36
2. Excitement:
“Before I got married, 2 years ago, I was the fun, party girl everyone loved to hang out with. Since being married, my life has become quite dull. Two weeks ago, I met a very good-looking guy on social media and he made me feel all the excitement that I have missed. I have only been intimate with him once and I do not intend to make this a regular affair.”
Nike* 26
3. Payback:
“My husband and I have been married for a little over 25 years and in that time, my husband has been the consummate bed-hopper. He has slept with everything from maids to executives. Now, I am done raising my kids and I seem to have a little extra time on my hands. I started dating an old friend who also happens to be married. I love my husband but it has been great to enjoy some of the pleasure he has afforded himself all these years.”
Ogechi* 45
4. Sex Drive:
“My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, and I can count the number of times we have been intimate. He hardly initiates sex and sometimes, when I do, he gets very angry and pushes me away aggressively. He even sometimes resorts to calling me names. It has been months since the last time he and I had sex. Last year, I met a guy at a wedding. We both started hanging out as friends but soon after, our conversation became more sexual and it was only a matter of time until things got physical.”
Cynthia* 31
5. The Ex-factor:
“Before my husband and I got married about 6 years ago, I had a boyfriend who I really wanted to settle down with. We were from separate tribes and our families did not approve of our relationship. Eventually, I met and married my husband, who my parents loved. I still have feelings for my ex, who is still single. He and I are still very close. We talk every day. I open up to him and tell him everything going on in my life. Sometimes, I pay him a visit and let him comfort me when I am down. We have been intimate from time to time and whenever I am with him, I feel more loved and cared for than I ever felt with my own husband. I cannot help it.”
Grace* 33.
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Meanwhile, This are Some of the reply we got from our men:
1. Mrs Loneliness:
Your husband is out there looking for your means of livelihood, you shouldn't be cheating on him. Though, I'm often critical of men who travel for long period of time putting their wife in the mercy of other men. Mrs. Loneliness can always find something to keep herself busy!
2. Mrs. Excitement:
You are not ready for marriage if you call it dull
, you better go back to the street and enjoy yourself man instead of cheating on that man. Marriage is sacred and it's about making sacrifice.
3. Mrs. Paypack:
I have just one word for you, 'an eye for an eye will make the nation go blind'.
4. Mrs Sex Urge:
I quite speechless there, your husband actually fall my hand.
5. Mrs Ex. Factor:
I have you and your parents to blame here, and your husband should not suffer for that. Besides, you ought to know that we may not always get married to the person we truly love. It's alway like, the man you are running to might be a beast if you had been married to him.
