come together to take
a class picture for their
year book at a primary
school.
The teacher, trying to
cajole them said, "we
should all take this
picture so that when
you're all rich and
famous you can point at
each other in the
yearbook and say, Look!
There's Dan, his a big
lawyer! And there's
Samuel, he's the
president!"
Johnny laughed and said,
"And there's the
teacher, she's dead!
Johnny Dey Hospital Now, The Beating He Received From His Teacher No Get Part 2.
2.
For a very long time,
Adamu has been
battling with
a leak in his roof.
A faithful night, there
was a heavy downpour
when
he had to move from
one corner of the room
to the
other to avoid drops
through his roof. Hence,
had a sleepless night.
The following morning,
he decided to fix the
roof.
After scouting for a
ladder in his
neighborhood, he
climbed his roof.
Climbing wasn't anyway
easy as he was panting
and sweating. As he
was about setting off
fixing the damage, he
heard a knock on his
door.
"Hello" he screams from
the top of the roof.
A tattered looking
beggar showed up on
the other
side of the roof and
replied,
"Excuse me, can I see
u?" "What is it that u
want to tell me?"
Adamu
requested.
"Just spare me a
minute" the beggar
requested.
Adamu hustled his way
back to the ground,
looking tired and
demanded of the
beggar,
"Ok, what can I do for
u?" "Can I get N20"
requested the beggar.
Adamu retorts for
about 30 secs, then told
the
beggar,
"Follow me"
Both began climbing the
roof, panting and
gasping
for breath. They both
got to the top, now
seriously panting for
about 3 mins.
Then Adamu turns to
the beggar and said, "I
don't
have!"
Shaaaaaaiiiiii the beggar fainted=))
In His Life How Won't Try Such A Thing Again.
3. A man had 2 sons, Ochuko
and Edafe who sat for
an examination. When
the result came out,
their father called
both of them to ask
them some questions:
Father: Edafe, come
here,You did very well in
your exams, you got A's
in your result.
Edafe: Yes daddy, I want
to study in America
that's why I got A's.
Father: ... and you
Ochuko, can you explain
why you got F's in
your result?
Ochuko: Yea Papa its my
Dream to study in
France=-d
Papa Ochuko don break Ochuko leg o.=))
4.
Koffi had a bad
attendance record
for being particularly
late for work in
the morning. He was
called to a
disciplinary hearing
where he was
given a chance to
explain his reasons.
His argument - "I get up
in the
morning...I shower...I
look in the
mirror...try to straighten
my hair, then I
miss the taxi, then I'm
late."
His boss has a bright
idea. He gets one
of Koffi's colleague to
sneak into his
room & steal the Mirror
off the wall
without Koffi'
knowledge. The
following day, Koffi did
not turn up
for work. The same
happened the day
after that. Koffi was
summoned to
another hearing to
explain his
reasons for not
attending work.
His argument - "I get up
in the
morning...I shower...I
look in the
Mirror...I didn't see myself (Koffi)...I
think Koffi
already left for work that's why i decided to stay behind.
5. An old man was sitting on a
bench at the mall. A young
man walked up to the bench
and sat down. He had spiked
hair in all different
colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just
stared. Every time the young
man looked, the old man was
staring. The young man finally
said sarcastically, "What's the
matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the
old man replied, "Got drunk
once and had sex with a
peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my son
6. Mrs. Peterson went to
the doctor: “I’m terribly
worried about my child
She thinks she’s a
chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been
going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs.
Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness
sakes! Why did you bring her to see me
sooner?”
“Because we needed
the eggs!” Before any procedure=))
7. Abeg See All The Different Grades Of Chopping Government Money In Nigeria:
1. When you chop alone in government and no one chops with you, that is called ADAJE.
2. When you chop in government and you allow others to chop their own, that is called
AJOJE.
3. When you chop in government and you give others from what you have “chopulated”
that is called AFUNJE.
4. When you chop in government and the place you are chopping eventually folds up,
that is called AJEPA!
5. When you chop in government, you don’t remember your driver, secretary, office
assistants, that is called AFISHE!
6. When you chop alone in government and you do not remember anybody, you kon dey
get headache today, fever tomorrow, hehehehehe…. I laff oyinbo laff…that one is called
APETA!
7. When dem just appoint you for government position, and you just chop small, auditors
kon come say bring all papers, that is called ARANSI!
8. When you chop in government and you die while chopin, that is called AJEKU!
9. When you want to chop in government and you give others to chop before you begin
to chop, that is called EGUNJE!
10. When you are chopin your own in government and you call your friends to come and
chop their own too, that is called APEJE!
11. When you chop and clean mouth like say you no chop anything, that is called JEUN
SOKE!
12. When you chop chop chop chop in government and you dey deny say you chop
anything, that is called JEUN KOKU!
13. When you chop from this government, that government, this government, that
government like say na you dem create Nigeria for, that one is called AJEPE AYE!
14. When you chop in government so taaay you scatter ground, three houses for America,
two for London, six for Kubwa, seven for VI, as madam dey go shopping for Dubai,
children dey go summer for Spain, EFCC kon gbab you, that one is called AJEBANU!
15. When you chop well well for government and people know say you chop well well but
you dey deny say you chop well well, that person na ALAJE SE.
16. When you chop in government so tey u are even richer than the place u dey chop that
is called AJEFOLOJU.
17. When you chop in government so tay the place collapse, instead make them persecute
you, government re-assign you, kom change the name of the place, that is called
AJEPAJUDE.
18. When you come chop government and people begin to para, dem begin to hala and u
dey do like you no care that one na hin be IJEWURU.
19. When u chop sotey ur belle begin big like Jabulani (SA FIFA world cup ball) until dem
dey carry u go Germany go do tommy surgery, that one na IJEWOBIA.
20. When u come chop lafta for this joke and u know gree share am, that one na
AJERANJU.
21. When u chop for government come begin dey jump gate, its simply called AJE FO
GATE
22. When u chop reach u con dey say Stealing no be corruption, that one AJE TE
23. When you chop clear treasury empty, so tey gofment sef dey beg you to lend am
money….that one na ALAJE PALEMO
24. When you chop government money and there is loopholes,dat ALAJE DALU or DAWO
25. When you chop in government and you didn’t care about posterity, than na AJEKANYO
WA2
26. When you chop government money nd you miss your flight or bus,it is known as
ALAJE BA OKO OR ALAJE MISS BALU
27. When you enter government and you no see chop that na –Ajeti
28. When you chop clear treasury empty, so tey gofment sef dey beg you to lend am
money….that one na ALAJE RUN.
29. When you chop from this government, that government, those government, all
government like say na yu dem create Nigeria for, that one is called ALAJEYIA,
ALAJEYIPO or OBJ.
30. When u chop chop chop sotey dem come catch u, u come dey run, u come get
accident, ur head come scatter; na AJEFOLORI.
8. Little Johnny attended a
horse auction with his
father,watching as his
father moved from
horse to horse,running
his hands up and down
the horse's legs,rump
and chest. After a few
minutes, Little Johnny
asked, Dad, why are u
doing that? his father
replied, because when
i'm buying horses, I have to
make sure that they
are healthy and in good
shape before i
buy. looking noticeably
worried, after few seconds
Little Johnny said, i think our
gateman wants to buy
mom, Cos He's Always running, roughing and dealing with mum when you are not at home.
His father fainted *Rotfl*
9. Woman= No sex now, am
still mourning my
husband
.
.
Chidi = Dats why am
wearing a black
condom,pls open your legs
and accept my
condonlence *Rotfl*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Musa: My Girlfriend Birthday na tomorrow, how I fit take Surprise her.
Adamu: Introduce her to your Wife, She will be surprise to meet herself in hospital....Hehehehe.
10. Some journalist were interviewing children across the world on what they would like to become when they GROW up
The first person was an Indian Boy.
What will you like to become when you grow up ,
he answered - I would like to be a software engineer
second Boy from America - I would like to be a Neurosurgeon
Boy from china - I would like to become a Pilot
.....the interview continue like that until they got to chidi from Nigeria.
Interviewer: Chidi why ain't you talking, what would you like to become when you grow up,
Chidi answered -Person wey never chop dey GROW?
Give me food abeg!!!=))
Two mentally disturbed men
chidi and johnny decided they
must go to school.
They collected old books and
went to sit under the tree
pretending it was a school.
The following day, Chidi got
there early and climbed the tree.
As the other came and saw his
friend on top of the tree he
asked
"What are you doing up there ?"
Chidi replied; "I am now in high
school..
To be continue......
