Woman - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" -
Man "Yes."
Woman - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
Man- "What's the price?"
Woman - "Only $1,500.00."
Man - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
Woman- "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
Man-"What price did he quote you?"
Woman - "Only $60,000..."
Man - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
Woman - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..."
Man - "What?"
Woman - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property."
Man - "How much are they asking?"
Woman - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
Man - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
Woman - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
Man - "Bye...I love u too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to? cos i have put the person in a huge everlasting debt through his wife."
2. "Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?" "Because our English teacher died yesterday!"
3. Mother: What did you learn in school today Son: How to write. Mother: What did you write? Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
4. Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad ass, and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!" The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!"
