One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His
friend suggested that he go to a computer at the
drug store that can
diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. ”Simply put in a
sample of your urine and
the computer will diagnose your problem and tell
you what you can do
about it. It only costs $10.”
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a
jar with his urine
sample and went to
the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured
in the sample and
deposited the $ 10.
The computer started
making some noise and
various lights started
flashing. After a brief
pause out popped a small slip of paper on which
was printed: You have
tennis elbow. Soak your arm in
warm water. Avoid heavy
lifting. It will be better in
two weeks.” Later that evening while thinking
how amazing this new
technology was and how it would change medical
science forever, he
began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.
He mixed
together some tap water, a stool sample from his
dog and urine samples
from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he
masturbated into the
concoction. He went
back to the drug store,
located the machine,
poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The
computer again made
the usual noise and printed out
the following message:
“Your tap water is too
hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has worms. Get
him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation
clinic.
Your wife is pregnant
with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
And if you don’t
stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will
never get better.”
